Thursday, October 14, 2010

Intermission

As you perhaps have noticed, my blog has changed style. I have started writing more about blasting things into oblivion than ranting about lawyers and those damn kids.
And maybe you have noticed, that i have also changed my layout and some more changes are coming soon.
Now tell me- What do you think about these changes?

Heck, here's some lawyer jokes for the old times sake:

When a lawyer tells his clients he has a sliding fee schedule what he means is that after he bills you it's financially hard to get back on your feet.

A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2+2?"
The housewife replies: "Four!".
The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time."
The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.
"Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine."
"Why ?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for ?"
"Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole."

It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor." That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?" Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman." "Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?" Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse." The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation. Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"

St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"

A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.
"Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury 20 of them."

"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.

"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.

TUNE IN LATER FOR MORE EXPLOSIONS! 

37 comments:

  1. "How much do you want it to be?"

    fucking lol'd! so true! hahaha

    anyway, the new style looks good.
    i can read the post better.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets."

    My favorite.

    ReplyDelete
  3. yep I like the new style, especially since im a fan of the post-apo genre :D

    ReplyDelete
  4. I generally liked your new direction and the new layout ^^

    ReplyDelete
  5. The ones about Lawyers and hell are the best ones!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love the new layout and I just love those lawyer jokes ... damn I don't like lawyers >.<

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nice post, like the new layout too!

    ReplyDelete
  8. The new style fits the general sense of destruction and anarchy on your page. I like it!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lmao :D Really enjoying your posts mate :D

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm down for whatever. Maybe a little of both?

    ReplyDelete
  11. everything is better than spected

    ReplyDelete
  12. i like ur layout the wallpeper or background (w/e its called) is sick

    ReplyDelete
  13. Just excellent!!! I LOVE FALLOUT!!!!!! keep it up xD and thanks for the lulz

    ReplyDelete
  14. lol at the school teacher joke.

    ReplyDelete
  15. The changes are cool, and the jokes too ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. post whatever you want...thats why we made this piece of shit blogs in the 1st place!

    ReplyDelete
  17. LOL screw lawyers, great jokes

    ReplyDelete
  18. whahaha, i genuinely laughed. nice.

    ReplyDelete

DISCLAIMER

ALL INFORMATION POSTED IN BLOG IS FOR INFORMATIONAL, EDUCATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPORSES ONLY. THE AUTOR OF THIS BLOG DOESENT TAKE ANY RESPONSIBILTY FOR POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCES, INCLUDING TRAUMAS AND DEATH.