Friday, October 8, 2010


o hai my loyal followers!

It is time to make some fun science with stuff you can find in other people's your house!


What you need is:
1- Potassium nitrate (KNO3), also known as saltpeter. You can steal buy it from online sellers, garden shops or whatever place you can find. Buy plentiful, 10-20 kilograms is enough, since you can make other fun stuff from it too.
2- Sugar. Regular fcking sugar. Also plentiful.
3- Metal bucket, like old paint cans and so. Soda can works great for smoke grenades.
4- Some fuse.

It should look like this
Mix the sugar and KNO3 in 2:3 or 4:6 ratio. The 3:5 will burn more rapidly, but will burn out quicker. You can experiment with different ratios but always use more KNO3 than sugar. Mix it well.
Now we want to melt this crap, so heat the bucket (if it has still some paint in it, inhale the fumes for happy times!) and stir the contents with long strokes. Heat until the contents are liquified, then cool this thing down. If you are making soda can grenades, heat this crap in a pot or something, then pour the mixture in the can. Add a fuse.
Congrats! You just made a smoke bomb, unless you managed to kill yourself in the making.
Now you have your own smoke screen and you can torch houses in peace!
Heres a video of some bloke using a smoke bomb made like that:


As I said before, that potassium-thing can be used for more than smoke bombs! In fact, you can fuel a little rocket with it.

Again, what you need is:
-Kitty litter
-A pipe, PVC and cardboard work fine, aluminium is good too, if its lightweight
-Tin foil, if you are using cardboard or PVC pipe
-Lighter fluid, kerosene, whatever you can steal.
-Some tools, easy to steal
-Fuse. Sparklers will do the trick.
-A stick
Now lets get sciencing!
First- do like this video tells you to, except to the lighting part, we'll get to that later. Also, you can make it bigger.

Now insulate the top of the rocket with tin foil, then wrap some cotton all around it, tape or glue it on the rocket. Pour some lighter fluid or stuff like that on the cotton.
Go near a police station, aim the rocket towards a window, ignite the cotton and the fuse and enjoy the show.
You can make more than one rocket and burn down the whole station!
Use the smoke bomb you made before for even more happy times!

what do i think about social networks

This has clearly gone too far. Im tired of people posting their every bowel movement on facebook, then telling on twitter that you did that. And why try to get real friends, when you can make them online! Take your macbook gaybook to the next party you are attending and ask everybody's facebook, instead of trying to get laid !
And why grow real crops when you have farmville! Fuck yeah! Harvestin' some pixels, haters gonna hate!
I know one person who left her crying baby unattended, because she needed to harvest some crops. And she cried when internet connection was down for 2 minutes.
And i wonder, how many traffic accidents have been caused by updating status?
Oh, im gonna put something funny on my status, then all my 99 785 virtual friends will think im soooo cool! Oh, and lets put some fucking gay party pictures there too, then everybody sees what a wild spirit i am! I cant be tamed!
Or maybe post a quote i cant even understand to twitter, everybody can relate to that and also think that im intelligent!
Brb i have to harvest my crops, help my mafia, update my status about it, then mention it in my blog with some random quotes, post the whole shit on reddit and stumbleupon, update my other blog on tumblr and digg it, then post all the links on twitter and retweet 6 billion tweets, since i have no original thoughts myself! Booyeah! Then spend the rest of my day waiting for comments.
0 comments   Brb killing myself.

Sup Brandon? xoxo
Look, guys! Brandon got a new girlfriend from fecesbook!

I seriosly hope that facebook relationships end up with a wacky molestation adventure.
And those who describe their every fart and shit on status...well i hope that a pack of wild niggers will rape them, while justin bieber plays in the background.

Sup guys?! last night was EXTREME!!!!one1! taking a crap right now, its HUGE!

Please go die in a fire. Internet was made for porn, not shit like this. Instead of trying to act cool - be cool! Go torch a police station or take over a third world country.Fucking kill someone. Facebook and twitter and other gay matchmaking sites may be useful and fun to troll, but fuck, living there? And they dont say i dont have a live because i have only 31 friends there and log in only once a month. Well, sorry for being a functional member of society, not some gay hippie faggot with only online friends. Fuck. I will kill the next person who goes to a cafe or a party to network! With my bare hands.

Learning the Hard Way
Please, leave something for yourself...

There's No App for That
That's what i was talking about!

Has the social networking craze gone too far?
Tell in the comments!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Ch. 1 pt. 3

o hai, continued:

Im being punished for manslaughter!
I think that the aliens are to blame, why the kids are so damn retarded. Or maybe it's the parents fault, especially in amerikka. Your kid comes home, is drunk and hijacked a car? Send him/her to his/her room! That will teach him/her a lesson! Yeah, resting in his/her own room, surfing on fecesbook and mywhore and stuff like that is a harsh punishment. Send your kid on a vacation also while you  are at it.

And the music-  kid's favourites are as retarded as kids themselves. HERP DERP IM MILEY CIRUS IMMA POST ACCIDENTIALLY NAKED PICTURES OF MYSELF ON TWITTER. And those obnoxious hiphop dont get me started. Have you seen their music videos and public appearances?  They are far worse than mentally handicapped baboons.
This is your 10yo daughter's role model :)
Brb being cool and original
Yeah, these are really good role models for teenagers. If you wonder why your daughter is a goddamn mindless prostitute or your son resembles more a baboon than a human or is just utterly retarded smelly emo scum- see their playlist. Their idols are mostly fucking shitstains of society.
And again- sending them to their room is no punishment. But what should you do?
Well, how about that you beat the living crap out of them and grind 'em up. Who are you kidding- you dont love them, nobody does. Bury the grounds in your back yard and grow some trees or stuff, these are atleast useful.
And if you dont have a kid- grab a random one from the mall- that's called shopping!
Do the world a favor and slaughter some annoying teens!
Also, nuke miley cyrus and justeen biebeer.

Or maybe the aliens did it to take over the world...

Come back tomorrow for another story!!!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

ch. 1 pt. 2

continued from previous post:

Not all kids are retarded duckfaces- lets not forget stupid emo scum, goths, smelly hippies, posers and other trash.

Everybody loves ducks!
Have you seen emos and goths? These are the kids who just exist and are utterly retarded. They rarely move, except in moshpits, because movement of any kind would show joy and enjoyment of life. They dont enjoy that they live in a world of opportunities, that they have food on the table, decent healthcare and all the black hairdye they can eat and so on. No, life sucks and nobody can understand their pain, so they have to write their little gay poems about how dark and full of pain everything is.
They interact socially only with their own kind, mostly its just standing in a circle and staring the ground.
Goths are about the same, but uglier, plus most of them are fucking dykes or "satanists", depending on the gender. Also their music sounds more awful.
The average IQ of emo kid is below the one of a tomato plant.

Scene culture at its best
But there is one deviation in the emo "culture"- scene kids. These are the extremely shallow waste of organic matter, who have dead raccoons embedded in their heads and even lower IQ than emos.
Common activities include being stupid, shallow attention whore, straightening hair, being intoxicated and having unprotected sex with random strangers.

Who do i blame for kids being so damn retarded? I think that the aliens did it.

Come back tomorrow and read more!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

chapter 1 part 1

I have been taught, that children are constantly developing organisms. But in which way they develop nowadays, is unsure to me. I guess that mental retardation.
I see young people every day, just wasting away their life. This may sound stupid but yeah.

I see some of them, just hanging out in the malls, staring around with blank look in their eyes, doing their social rituals.
It is just like they are from another planet or dimension, completely different from ours. But it only seems like that. They have completely different vocabulary and the female specimens use also high-pitched squeaks to express emotions.
But their basic social structure is quite similar to most simple organisms known to man. They act mostly to most basic needs- to obtain nutriton and reproduce.
They obtain nutrition from chinese food, pizza and alcohol, from which last of them also leads to the second basic need- reproduction.
The reproduction happens totally randomly, most likely in a back alley or a party, wherever the female is drunk. The act of reproduction is almost identical to basic human one, but they will never use protective equipment to avoid pregnancy or catching some of the many aviable  STDs.
Thats how the society gets those little things, that I am ashamed to call children. They have no concept of behaviour, nor do their parents, thus wearing out the society, since none of the parents are willing to get a job and actually take care of the kid, counting on the society to do it. And the worst part- they grow up to be like that in about 13 years, some even earlier. They just go outdoors and start looking blankly to some distant point and babble in incomprehensive lanuage. And then they reproduce, keeping the loop going.
One important part of their culture is also taking really-really horrible pictures of themselves and their friends, what all look surprisingly retarded and similar, then posting them on some social network for others to vomit on enjoy.

What has gone wrong? Why are the children like that?

Well, not all of them hang out in malls and reproduce rapidly. 

To read the part 2, come back tomorrow :)

Monday, October 4, 2010

GUISE! Im writing a book!

O hai, sorry for the late update, i just moved to a new place and i dont have decent internet here.

Anyway, i started (FINALLY!) working on my book, since a lot of people have been bugging me with it for a looong time (i do a lot more than blogging, you know. I write on real paper sometimes). Anyway, feel free to pitch in some ideas what i could write about. The book itself is going to be a collection of fictional stories, true stories, rants and opinions, some shit is quite demented, like this, i wrote it last night when i was drunk:

user posted imageLets say you have a neighbour, mr Carlson. Well, his or her name (yeah, her) isn't really important right now so just bear with me on this one, okay?

Lets say that mr Carlson is an asshole- what would you do? Just bear with it?
Well, most of the people do and then complain about it on the internet and so on. Pretty okay, isn't it? Well, it is not okay.
Do you know why mr Carlson is an asshole? Because you let him to be. It is time to take some action.

What to do?

Does mr Carlson have any children? If yes, you can plan the revenge through them. No, dont molest and mutilate them, even if you want to. Well, unless if they are assholes too...Okay, lets just forget about the children and do something else.

Does mr Carlson have a car? Maybe you should cut the break lines, just a little snip, that wont hurt anbody, would it?
Well, maybe that is just too extreme, how about some sugar and water in the gas tank? And a nice keying, thats nice too.

Then, when everybody is asleep, get that nice canister of gasoline what you were saving for your suicde and pour that on mr Carlson's house indeed. Yes. Then burn the whole place down and salt the ground. There, no more mr Carlson. You did it. 

Anyway, feel free to pitch in some ideas, about what i could write about. About anything will do!