Wednesday, October 20, 2010


Appeal denied, google sucks ass and the persons who made google like this should be killed several times.
Remember the times google was good? Now it just collects data about you- it has more data about you than the goverment does. And who knows what they are going to do with it. Google is evil and should be shut down. Youtube and search is okay, well, it would be, if google wouldnt use them to collect tons of data about you.


Thursday, October 14, 2010

This is it

I got banned from adsense, i dont know even why. No further posts until my appeal goes through and i get reactivated.

 Take it as a protest- no profits, no oc. What sucks especially much, is that i lost all my already finalized earnings- 60 euros, and about 100 euros more, what was pending. I find this situation unfair, since i cant cant control who clicks and how much he or she does it.



As you perhaps have noticed, my blog has changed style. I have started writing more about blasting things into oblivion than ranting about lawyers and those damn kids.
And maybe you have noticed, that i have also changed my layout and some more changes are coming soon.
Now tell me- What do you think about these changes?

Heck, here's some lawyer jokes for the old times sake:

When a lawyer tells his clients he has a sliding fee schedule what he means is that after he bills you it's financially hard to get back on your feet.

A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2+2?"
The housewife replies: "Four!".
The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time."
The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.
"Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine."
"Why ?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for ?"
"Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole."

It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor." That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?" Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman." "Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?" Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse." The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation. Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"

St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"

A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.
"Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury 20 of them."

"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.

"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Chemistry can be fun!

Those of you who have been in school chemistry classes, remember the blackboards full of boring equasions like this:  Fe2O3 + 2Al → 2Fe + Al2O3 + heat
Seems boring? Think again. This is a thermite reaction! You know what thermite is, right? Well, its a mixture of fine aluminium powder and an oxide, most commonly iron (III) oxide, also known as rust.
Sounds even more boring? Guess again, the reaction is quite violent- producing enough heat to melt down a car and often being even explosive.
The reaction doesent require any oxygen, so it is irreversible and the reaction can happen even underwater. How violent the reaction is, you ask? Well see for yourself!

After seeing this, you probably want to know how to make it. Well, its your lucky day because i know how to do it.
What you need is
- Powdered aluminium
- Powdered iron (III) oxide.
- Magnesium or chromium strip for igniting this crap. I've heard that sparklers will do the trick.

Mix the fine aluminium and iron powder firmly together, add a strip of chromium or magnesium and voila! You now have some thermite!
If you are a lazy bum like i am, you'll buy it off ebay. 1lb bucket with ignitor is about 6 bucks when i last looked.
So, if you wanna burn something down, really-really down, then thermite is the right thing to use! But be careful- as you heard previously, it burns at a scorching heat and cannot be extinguished, so dont try it- you can fuck yourself seriously up.

Be back tomorrow for some more fun experiments!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

sciencing some more- nuclear experiments pt. 2

I hope you all have your reactors what we constructed few days ago nicely up and running, so that we can craft a nice nuclear warhead.
It's a fun weekend project for the whole family!

Fireworks, anyone?

What you need is:

Plenty of Plutonium-239. If your reactor has not produced enough yet, go check the other sources. Plutonium can be found in former soviet countries, where it is more common than food, trust me. Or buy from Iranis. They have some. You'll need about 20 pounds of it.
Metal bucket with a lid. Old paintbuckets do the trick.
100 pounds of TNT, Semtex or Gelinite. You should have some in your basement. If not, steal from the army- its bought with your money anyway.
A triggering system. Ask your local terrorist organization for more tips!
Tin foil

Lets get the party started

Basically, you need to craft two hemispheres out of plutonium. Safety gloves are optional, when working with it. Dont let your children or pets eat it! This can be a messy job, so i suggest you dont do it in the living room!
When the hemispheres are ready, place them 2-4 centimetres apart and wrap the explosives around them. You can use play-doh to secure the hemispheres in place.
Install the blasting cap and then wrap some more play-doh and lots of tin foil around the assembly. Secure the whole thing with plenty of ducttape. Then place the nuclear device in the bucket, drag out the wire(s) of the triggering system and install control panel if neccesary. Secure the lid. Decorate the bucket with stickers. (optional)
You now have a live nuclear device! Keep this out of the reach of children and various goverment agencies.
This will make an excellent conversation starter and party accesory!
Store in a dry, dark place, use as neccesary.

Okay, back to earth for a second- nuclear devices are bad. This article was written just to show you the basic principles how a nuclear bomb is made. You shouldn't attempt to start a WW3 in your home.

Come back tomorrow!
I will tell you what fun reactions, most of them explosive, you can do with some extremely common ingredients!

Homemade RPG? You betcha!

Remember those fun napalm bombs and smoke grenades we made a few days ago? Well, lets take this one step further!
Jesus might be a douche but he is right on this one- do set a building on fire! But with homemade RPG, you can torch a lot more from a safe distance!
So lets get building!
Basically, we are building a potato cannon. This guide is from HERE. I suggest you visit that site.

I wont give you the full details, how to do everything on this one since you cleary need some knowledge of your own OR you shouldnt do it. Do your research if neccesary.

The materials

There goes the neighbourhood...
Building Materials
-5 feet of 3" ABS (DWV) pipe
-2 feet of 5" ABS pipe
-A 5" to 3" reducer
-A 5" threaded adapter
-A 5" end cap
-A BBQ ignitor (+1 Screw)
-ABS cement

NB! The measurments are estimated- please do measure the soda cans or jars you are going to use.

-Cheap aerosol hairspray
-Ammunition (will cover that later in this post)



Leisure time with friends!

-Cut the 3" pipe to about 13" or a size you prefer (the larger the combustion chamber; the more gas; the more boom)
-Make sure the reducer fits over the pipe
-Spread some ABS cement on the inside of the reducer and outside of one end of the pipe, slide the reducer onto the pipe with a twisting method
-Repeat this for the threaded adapter
-Repeat this for the barrel (5' of 1.5" pipe)

Make sure your gluing is done properly, you dont want it to explode.

Install the ignitor

Drill a hole in the 3" pipe for the metal lead from the ignitor to fit, mount the ignitor using screws provided, you can slop some glue around the hole to make sure there wont be a gap where the flames will shoot out and burn your arm......

In order to create the arc (spark) to ignite the gas, there needs to be a metal contact between the lead from the ignitor and the metal chasis of the ignitor.

If you mounted the ignitor with bolts into the pipe, bend the metal lead to be within 1/4" of the bolt to make a spark,
I however put another screw in from the other side, but had to run a piece of wire from it to the metal chasis.
Both methods will work.

Lets get the fun started!
He wont park on your lawn again, thats for sure!

First, make sure that the cement is cured

-Unscrew the end cap
-Force ammo into the barrel

-Spray some hair spray into the 5" pipe (combustion chamber) for 2-3seconds
-Quickly screw the end cap back on
-Point it at a 45 degree angle to maximize range and push the ignitor

If you wanna use potatos- be my guest. But you want firestorm, dont you?
Then why dont take a smaller glass jar, some napalm, more styrofoam and a fuse and make a napalm molotov? Also, i reccommend more liquid napalm on this one, or you can use just gasoline or other flammable liquid instead.
Make the fuse long burning, you dont want to kill yourself, do you? I guess you can make a molotov already, so lets skip this step. Oh, and dont forget to add a fuse. 
Make a shell out of styrofoam for the jar, so that it would fit snugly in the barrel. Make it out of two halves, what will drop off after the "rocket" has exited the barrel. I suggest you experiment on that one.
You can also use those soda can smoke grenades with this. Shoot them through windows!

Congrats, if you succeeded, you have a RPG now! You can now take down vehicles and torch houses!

Oh that silly Jesus!
Also, the disclaimer is at the bottom of the page :) have a nice revolution, my children!

In the other news, i reached a milestone- 300 followers!
Thanks for you, you and YOU! Without your interest i wouldnt be writing these sick posts! 

Monday, October 11, 2010

Science pt. 3- nuclear power and napalm

As promised, today i am going to tell you about nuclear stuff!
First, lets  watch this video:

Now make a bomb! I cant tell you how but if you succeed, you can take over the country!

But what i can tell you is how to make napalm!
If you thought that soda can smoke grenades were fun, then soda can firebombs will rock your world! And the best part is- they are extremely easy and cheap to make. All you need is gasoline, styrofoam (lots of it) and a suitable container. You cant use plastic though, so glass bottles sound the best, as do sodacans. I prefer to mix it in a big glass jar and then pour and scoop the mixture CAREFULLY into the can or bottle.
Some safety gloves and goggles would be nice too.
First, take the mixing jar and pour some gasoline in it, fill it to about 3/4 full.
Thrn toss some pieces of styrofoam in the gasoline- watch them dissolve! Thenn add some more, repeat until a sticky substance is achieved. Agitate if and as neccesary.
Warning! This will eat through plastic! Maintain fire safety when mixing and storing!
fun, isn't it?

In the other news, im opening a mailbox for a week- If you have any subjects you'd like me to tell about- write in the comments! You can ask or request anything! I will start writing on subjects YOU have suggested and answering to your questions some time next week so shoot!

- momo

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Science weekend continues-civil disobedience special!

Greetings, my numerous readers! Lets have some more fun, shall we?

Homemade "firesticks" and land mines

I hope you enjoyed smoking out the entire street and torching the houses afterwards. Now lets make some more fun experiments!
Today we are making some guns and explosives, so that next time when you prank around with smoke bombs and nuclear warheads, no-one will dare to stop you! And those kids at school who mock you? They can see what the coffin looks like from the inside!
There is a great book called "Improvised Munitions Handbook", what was issued by the military and in my opinion its far better than anarchist's cookbook, though it doesnt have the makign drugs section. The articles there are quite long, so I am not posting them but you can read them HERE. Print this out- it might come handy.

Fun with smoke bombs

You can use this to avoid getting caught!
But I am going to tell you, what fun stuff you can do with the skills you have learned in the past 24 hours.
Remember those smoke bombs? Make a 12-pack of those soda can ones, we'll be needing these a lot!

Take a few and go to a highway or a busy intersection, ignite them and toss them in the middle of the traffic. Congrats, you just made some motorists extremely butthurt! Bonus points if you do it during a rushhour.
With careful planning you can disable traffic for a long time!

Now if that wasn't enough for you, take a few more and toss them into Apple store or a starbucks, while the hipster faggots are there. Though I reccommend using mustard or chlorine gas over there instead. Heck, sarine would be the tool of trade here, or what?

Another fun thing to, is to ignite one of these bad boys next to a ventilation intake. Again, bonus points if you color the smoke to a funky color, like yellow or purple. If you are lazy, you could just toss the bomb in through a window or something, i dont care. Super fun time guaranteed!
Police station, neighbour's house, all the same!

You can toss also the whole 12-pack of bombs in a highway tunnel- much luls guaranteed on that one!

But since its halloween so why not play a prank on the neighbourhood? Egging houses is lame, toss a few smoke bombs and a molotov through an open window instead! People sure love fire, trust me on that one!

Oh, and dont get caught!

Other fun experiments

Its halloween, right? Why not fill a pumpkin with explosives, set up a trip wire and go  wait behind a barrier until some children come to trick and treat. Its fun for the whole family! Its even better that dividing by zero!

This is also fun! Make sure to try it out!
Also helps to save electricity! Spread the green message!
Those ambulance, police and fire trucks arent going anywhere now!

Hope you enjoyed this! Tomorrow im gonna tell you how to make nuclear warheads and take down goverments so stay tuned!

Friday, October 8, 2010


o hai my loyal followers!

It is time to make some fun science with stuff you can find in other people's your house!


What you need is:
1- Potassium nitrate (KNO3), also known as saltpeter. You can steal buy it from online sellers, garden shops or whatever place you can find. Buy plentiful, 10-20 kilograms is enough, since you can make other fun stuff from it too.
2- Sugar. Regular fcking sugar. Also plentiful.
3- Metal bucket, like old paint cans and so. Soda can works great for smoke grenades.
4- Some fuse.

It should look like this
Mix the sugar and KNO3 in 2:3 or 4:6 ratio. The 3:5 will burn more rapidly, but will burn out quicker. You can experiment with different ratios but always use more KNO3 than sugar. Mix it well.
Now we want to melt this crap, so heat the bucket (if it has still some paint in it, inhale the fumes for happy times!) and stir the contents with long strokes. Heat until the contents are liquified, then cool this thing down. If you are making soda can grenades, heat this crap in a pot or something, then pour the mixture in the can. Add a fuse.
Congrats! You just made a smoke bomb, unless you managed to kill yourself in the making.
Now you have your own smoke screen and you can torch houses in peace!
Heres a video of some bloke using a smoke bomb made like that:


As I said before, that potassium-thing can be used for more than smoke bombs! In fact, you can fuel a little rocket with it.

Again, what you need is:
-Kitty litter
-A pipe, PVC and cardboard work fine, aluminium is good too, if its lightweight
-Tin foil, if you are using cardboard or PVC pipe
-Lighter fluid, kerosene, whatever you can steal.
-Some tools, easy to steal
-Fuse. Sparklers will do the trick.
-A stick
Now lets get sciencing!
First- do like this video tells you to, except to the lighting part, we'll get to that later. Also, you can make it bigger.

Now insulate the top of the rocket with tin foil, then wrap some cotton all around it, tape or glue it on the rocket. Pour some lighter fluid or stuff like that on the cotton.
Go near a police station, aim the rocket towards a window, ignite the cotton and the fuse and enjoy the show.
You can make more than one rocket and burn down the whole station!
Use the smoke bomb you made before for even more happy times!

what do i think about social networks

This has clearly gone too far. Im tired of people posting their every bowel movement on facebook, then telling on twitter that you did that. And why try to get real friends, when you can make them online! Take your macbook gaybook to the next party you are attending and ask everybody's facebook, instead of trying to get laid !
And why grow real crops when you have farmville! Fuck yeah! Harvestin' some pixels, haters gonna hate!
I know one person who left her crying baby unattended, because she needed to harvest some crops. And she cried when internet connection was down for 2 minutes.
And i wonder, how many traffic accidents have been caused by updating status?
Oh, im gonna put something funny on my status, then all my 99 785 virtual friends will think im soooo cool! Oh, and lets put some fucking gay party pictures there too, then everybody sees what a wild spirit i am! I cant be tamed!
Or maybe post a quote i cant even understand to twitter, everybody can relate to that and also think that im intelligent!
Brb i have to harvest my crops, help my mafia, update my status about it, then mention it in my blog with some random quotes, post the whole shit on reddit and stumbleupon, update my other blog on tumblr and digg it, then post all the links on twitter and retweet 6 billion tweets, since i have no original thoughts myself! Booyeah! Then spend the rest of my day waiting for comments.
0 comments   Brb killing myself.

Sup Brandon? xoxo
Look, guys! Brandon got a new girlfriend from fecesbook!

I seriosly hope that facebook relationships end up with a wacky molestation adventure.
And those who describe their every fart and shit on status...well i hope that a pack of wild niggers will rape them, while justin bieber plays in the background.

Sup guys?! last night was EXTREME!!!!one1! taking a crap right now, its HUGE!

Please go die in a fire. Internet was made for porn, not shit like this. Instead of trying to act cool - be cool! Go torch a police station or take over a third world country.Fucking kill someone. Facebook and twitter and other gay matchmaking sites may be useful and fun to troll, but fuck, living there? And they dont say i dont have a live because i have only 31 friends there and log in only once a month. Well, sorry for being a functional member of society, not some gay hippie faggot with only online friends. Fuck. I will kill the next person who goes to a cafe or a party to network! With my bare hands.

Learning the Hard Way
Please, leave something for yourself...

There's No App for That
That's what i was talking about!

Has the social networking craze gone too far?
Tell in the comments!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Ch. 1 pt. 3

o hai, continued:

Im being punished for manslaughter!
I think that the aliens are to blame, why the kids are so damn retarded. Or maybe it's the parents fault, especially in amerikka. Your kid comes home, is drunk and hijacked a car? Send him/her to his/her room! That will teach him/her a lesson! Yeah, resting in his/her own room, surfing on fecesbook and mywhore and stuff like that is a harsh punishment. Send your kid on a vacation also while you  are at it.

And the music-  kid's favourites are as retarded as kids themselves. HERP DERP IM MILEY CIRUS IMMA POST ACCIDENTIALLY NAKED PICTURES OF MYSELF ON TWITTER. And those obnoxious hiphop dont get me started. Have you seen their music videos and public appearances?  They are far worse than mentally handicapped baboons.
This is your 10yo daughter's role model :)
Brb being cool and original
Yeah, these are really good role models for teenagers. If you wonder why your daughter is a goddamn mindless prostitute or your son resembles more a baboon than a human or is just utterly retarded smelly emo scum- see their playlist. Their idols are mostly fucking shitstains of society.
And again- sending them to their room is no punishment. But what should you do?
Well, how about that you beat the living crap out of them and grind 'em up. Who are you kidding- you dont love them, nobody does. Bury the grounds in your back yard and grow some trees or stuff, these are atleast useful.
And if you dont have a kid- grab a random one from the mall- that's called shopping!
Do the world a favor and slaughter some annoying teens!
Also, nuke miley cyrus and justeen biebeer.

Or maybe the aliens did it to take over the world...

Come back tomorrow for another story!!!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

ch. 1 pt. 2

continued from previous post:

Not all kids are retarded duckfaces- lets not forget stupid emo scum, goths, smelly hippies, posers and other trash.

Everybody loves ducks!
Have you seen emos and goths? These are the kids who just exist and are utterly retarded. They rarely move, except in moshpits, because movement of any kind would show joy and enjoyment of life. They dont enjoy that they live in a world of opportunities, that they have food on the table, decent healthcare and all the black hairdye they can eat and so on. No, life sucks and nobody can understand their pain, so they have to write their little gay poems about how dark and full of pain everything is.
They interact socially only with their own kind, mostly its just standing in a circle and staring the ground.
Goths are about the same, but uglier, plus most of them are fucking dykes or "satanists", depending on the gender. Also their music sounds more awful.
The average IQ of emo kid is below the one of a tomato plant.

Scene culture at its best
But there is one deviation in the emo "culture"- scene kids. These are the extremely shallow waste of organic matter, who have dead raccoons embedded in their heads and even lower IQ than emos.
Common activities include being stupid, shallow attention whore, straightening hair, being intoxicated and having unprotected sex with random strangers.

Who do i blame for kids being so damn retarded? I think that the aliens did it.

Come back tomorrow and read more!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

chapter 1 part 1

I have been taught, that children are constantly developing organisms. But in which way they develop nowadays, is unsure to me. I guess that mental retardation.
I see young people every day, just wasting away their life. This may sound stupid but yeah.

I see some of them, just hanging out in the malls, staring around with blank look in their eyes, doing their social rituals.
It is just like they are from another planet or dimension, completely different from ours. But it only seems like that. They have completely different vocabulary and the female specimens use also high-pitched squeaks to express emotions.
But their basic social structure is quite similar to most simple organisms known to man. They act mostly to most basic needs- to obtain nutriton and reproduce.
They obtain nutrition from chinese food, pizza and alcohol, from which last of them also leads to the second basic need- reproduction.
The reproduction happens totally randomly, most likely in a back alley or a party, wherever the female is drunk. The act of reproduction is almost identical to basic human one, but they will never use protective equipment to avoid pregnancy or catching some of the many aviable  STDs.
Thats how the society gets those little things, that I am ashamed to call children. They have no concept of behaviour, nor do their parents, thus wearing out the society, since none of the parents are willing to get a job and actually take care of the kid, counting on the society to do it. And the worst part- they grow up to be like that in about 13 years, some even earlier. They just go outdoors and start looking blankly to some distant point and babble in incomprehensive lanuage. And then they reproduce, keeping the loop going.
One important part of their culture is also taking really-really horrible pictures of themselves and their friends, what all look surprisingly retarded and similar, then posting them on some social network for others to vomit on enjoy.

What has gone wrong? Why are the children like that?

Well, not all of them hang out in malls and reproduce rapidly. 

To read the part 2, come back tomorrow :)

Monday, October 4, 2010

GUISE! Im writing a book!

O hai, sorry for the late update, i just moved to a new place and i dont have decent internet here.

Anyway, i started (FINALLY!) working on my book, since a lot of people have been bugging me with it for a looong time (i do a lot more than blogging, you know. I write on real paper sometimes). Anyway, feel free to pitch in some ideas what i could write about. The book itself is going to be a collection of fictional stories, true stories, rants and opinions, some shit is quite demented, like this, i wrote it last night when i was drunk:

user posted imageLets say you have a neighbour, mr Carlson. Well, his or her name (yeah, her) isn't really important right now so just bear with me on this one, okay?

Lets say that mr Carlson is an asshole- what would you do? Just bear with it?
Well, most of the people do and then complain about it on the internet and so on. Pretty okay, isn't it? Well, it is not okay.
Do you know why mr Carlson is an asshole? Because you let him to be. It is time to take some action.

What to do?

Does mr Carlson have any children? If yes, you can plan the revenge through them. No, dont molest and mutilate them, even if you want to. Well, unless if they are assholes too...Okay, lets just forget about the children and do something else.

Does mr Carlson have a car? Maybe you should cut the break lines, just a little snip, that wont hurt anbody, would it?
Well, maybe that is just too extreme, how about some sugar and water in the gas tank? And a nice keying, thats nice too.

Then, when everybody is asleep, get that nice canister of gasoline what you were saving for your suicde and pour that on mr Carlson's house indeed. Yes. Then burn the whole place down and salt the ground. There, no more mr Carlson. You did it. 

Anyway, feel free to pitch in some ideas, about what i could write about. About anything will do!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Free law tips from momo!

O hai!

Since attorneys, lawyers and other bloodsuckers charge tremendous amounts of money for advice (about enough to buy a structured settlement), im gonna give out some free tips!
1) Dont get caught. If you are a wifebeater, mass murderer or just a drunk driver- dont get caught.
2) Eliminate all the witnesses. If you were stupid enough to get caught, eliminate the problem.
3) Tamper with the evidence. Dont let your handprints be on the chainsaw what was used to murder justin bieber- frame usher!
4) Burn down a police station. I dont know how that is supposed to help but heck, do it anyway.
5) When you really-really have to go to the court, make sure you bribe the jury. This should work.
6) Kill the family of judge. It is really that simple. After that you can pull off a motherfucking holocaust if you want to. 7) Kill justin bieber. Read point 3 for more info.
8) Threaten people or bribe your way to freedom.
9) Always lie. If the attorneys can lie, so can you!
10) Use these tips!

Okay, lets come back to earth for a second. If you have been suffering from an assault, divorce, oil spill, loss of home, being caught with DUI or DWI or whatever- you should recieve a compensation. Yes, find a bloodsucker attorney and ask for real advice. You can get a pretty nice compensation for absolutely nothing, like Sexual Harrassment Panda taught us last week- even some simple things can lead up to HUGE monetary compensations- big enough to buy a structured settlement and find the cure for mesothelioma! It really is that simple!

Dont mind me, that was a part of another experiment, about what i'd like to talk a bit. It's sectioned targeting. See, you dont see any murder and holocaust ads on this site, because I isolated the horribly mutilated content between special tags. You can read more about this from here: With that, you can block all the unwanted keywords out and leave in only the important ones like:
$78.30 chicago personal injury lawyer
$73.01 chicago personal injury attorney
$69.17 lasik new york city
$64.27 new york personal injury lawyer
$64.17 new jersey car insurance
$63.10 new york personal injury attorney
$61.64 chicago personal injury lawyers
$61.17 mesothelioma lawyers
$60.74 atlanta personal injury lawyer
$60.29 new york personal injury lawyers
$59.00 lasik dallas
$58.68 new york personal injury lawyers
$58.38 miami personal injury attorney
$58.25 what is mesothelioma
$58.08 best equity loan
$57.95 lasik new york
$56.88 whole life insurance quote
$56.75 new york car insurance

But my opion on the suing is same: if you hate that person and you are greedy- sue him or her. Otherwise just beat the living crap out of him/her and be happy. Thank you.


Want a horribly mutilated anus?
Everybody knows McDonalds- the ignorant workers, the diarrhea dollar menu, long lines and so on.
What makes McDonald's so special? Well, i guess the people. I love to get my food served by people, who dont understand a word i say. In example- i ask for a double cheeseburger, the smelly bum behind the counter is like: "Que?" or "Chicken sandwich?".
Also, im quite sure they pee in the soda machine and take dumps on the grill. That would explain the bad taste and unexplainably horrible stomach diseases you can catch there. Gotta catch 'em all!
And the food...well paying several dollars for a dry bread with tasteless thing that looks like a dried up turd between it, is just not my thing. Also, diarrhea.

He's loving it!
McDonalds food should be prescription only- for constipation cure, because after eating something from the dollar menu, you will poop for days. You will poop so much that you'll be lucky if you have any bones left after that.
And the gravy...mmm delicious! I bet its made out of horse semen and nail clippings.
Dont forget the fries! Nice, soaking in oil...FREE HEART ATTACK WITH EVERY PURCHASE!
Seriously, they never change the oil. Never. And the mexicans use the fryer as a jacuzzi after working hours. If you find feces and hair on your fries- you know why!
Instead of standing in line for aidsburger, go to a store, buy the ingredients yourself and make some damn burgers. Save money and save your intestines from the horror of McDiarrhea McDonalds.

That guy could put McDonald's out of business!
Tell in the comments!

Friday, October 1, 2010


As you just saw, racism doesnt involv only mocking black guys. Chinese people make fun of us and so on.
This is OK!
Racism is not OK but racist jokes and stereotypes are. It is not ok to put on your robes and lynch a darkie. Well, unless you live in southern states, its the goddamn national sport there besides spitting, drinking, being poor and shooting at everything.
There are bright and talented black people out there, but it is quite cool to mock those lazy criminal niglets, who stole your bike. When you do that and someone says thats racist, you have my permission to beat the living crap out of this person. Heck, KKK should hunt down those people instead who think that some jokes are instantly total racism
You think that black people dont mock white ones? Go to a bad neighbourhood and see what happens- you'll get a bullet in your ass just for being white. Isnt that racism? No, thats "cultural heritage" and "ethnic culture". But when a white person says: "Damn nigga took my TV!", then  thats racism(even if a nigga really took a TV!). Dude, this thing is too fucked up. Those gangstas only justify the jokes and stereotypes.

Why isn't shooting white people racism? Or, go to china. 10 bucks that you end up molested or in jail for being different color that yellow. Is that cultural heritage again?
Seriously, doing nigger/chinese /whatever jokes is not racism! Its humor, and most of the cases- true stories. Hanging niglets besides a burning cross is racism, as is getting shot in a bad neighbourhood, huh honkey?
It is not right, that some whining dykes come stopping you say the nigger-word. Or other stuff. Why should it be OK to other races mock whites and whites must shut the fuck up? I dont see the logic here. Well ok, we enslaved your ancestors etc etc, but look at the news- see all the starvin' marvin'-s in Ethiopia? Atleast here, you have KFC and all the watermellin you can mongle.
It is unfair to take away the right to tell stereotypical jokes and stories!
But what do i think about the whole thing myself? Well, that.

Its a fucking bucket of crap.

Heck, here is another proof to a stereotype:

Tell us in the comments!

People who seriously need to shut the fuck up

1) Ecoterrorists. Yes, we do care about the environment but seriously guys, constant jabbering about the mother earth pisses us off. Also, greetings to Greenpeace. Your ship is really ecofriendly! Even supertankers pollute less. Good job, ass-hats!
2) PETA. Have you dickswabs heard about food chain? I guess not. Also, thanks to your soy and tofu consumption, forests have been cut down to make room for fields. You know what cutting down forests causes? Extinction of species, thats what. Go fuck a donkey, shitstains.
3) Emo kids. You are not artistic, you are not special, people do understand you. We understand that you are a whiny piece of shit that deserves to put out of your misery. Please wear targets on your foreheads, that we could shoot you more easily.
4) Hipsters and hippies. Nobody gives a crap what you say and you smell bad. Go buy a soap instead of a macbook, damn cocksucking fags.
5) Paris Hilton. You know why.
6) Justin Bieber. Im sick of that singing fetus.
9) Mormons. No, i dont want to go to heaven if its filled with guys like you. I'd rather burn in eternal flames.
10) People from the drug commercials. I really dont give a crap about bladder infections and sonic diarrhea. If i have a disease and need drugs, i'll just go ask a doctor.
11) Oprah. Go see a dietician. Also, im tired of your bullshit and racism. Eat more cake and get a heart attack.
12) Chinese supremacists. Your nation is poor and crappy, go smell elsewhere.
13) Dykes and gay activists. Okay, i have nothing against fags but fucking do your shit privatly. Those protests and stuff like that made us hate you in the first place.

Have more ideas? Tell in the comments!

Call to arms!

I have ranted here enough, now its time to take some real action!

Im extremely annoyed of douchebags in their sportscars, SUVs, hummers and crap like that, who cant parallel park or even read the sign HANDICAPPED PARKING ONLY. Those faggots need to get their lesson.
When you see a badly parked car, get out your universal tool- keys. A rock or another sharp object will do the trick. Now press in on the car's body and scrape. Bonus points if you crudely draw a penis on the hood of the car- let everybody know who the driver is! A dickhead!
I will later supply you with authentic dickhead® stencil too!
Stay tuned!


Some of the drivers can be quite
strong :)

OMG! A review!

Nikon D40.pngIm not much of a review person but what the heck, everybody else is doing it so im gonna do one too!
Now lets see...what to write about *looks around* AH! My trusty old Nikon D40 DSLR!

With all the new 100000 megapixel cameras coming out, it would be interesting to see, how useful can still be older models.
Nikon D40 was given into production in late 2006 and discontinued in early 2009. I bought mine in early 2008, so it has been working for me for the past 3 years - flawlessly. But im not gonna tell you those boring techincal specs. Instead, im gonna tell you about my own experience.

The camera is made out of cheap plastic but seems to have some reinforcements inside. I dont care about the cheap plastic part since dropping the camera to concrete floor will definately do more damage than wrecking the enclosure, so i dont mind. Seriously- if you drop your camera, the magnesium alloy enclosure wont save anything. Most likely you will total the optics and autofocus sensor. Plus the plastic enclosure makes the camera really lightweight and comfortable, since it wont freeze to absolute zero during winter. And the ergonomics are just excellent! One of the most comfortable cameras i have ever used!

The battery is also quite decent, lasted up to 1300 frames when new so i rarely had to recharge it.
If you have a good lens mounted on it, you will have crisp and clear images with really good colors. The lens that came with the camera is quite medicore- good colors, decent focus but it is fragile like dried up poop. They are made that some guide rails inside the lens barrel will bend and warp in a few years, so that you have to buy a new lens. Clever, eh?

One bonus is a quite big screen, what is bright enough even bright sunlight.
The on-camera flash is quite crappy but does the trick if needed, also the continuos shoot rate is low, only 2FPS. But thats also OK, i have never needed faster rate.
It eats SD memory cards, what are cheap and can hold quite much data, so you can take it on your holiday without worries.
Also, it is easy enough to use, even when you are drunk. Really-really drunk. Telling from my own experience.

Main thing- it has been with me for a long time, making excellent pictures all the time and never failing me. It has been in rain, in blizzard and in scorching heat and the only problem has been dust on sensor, what can be removed in one minute. It has survived and it is still working. It's a shame that it got discontinued.
Conclusion: It is a nice all-around camera with what you can make pretty pictures if you are not completely retarded or a hipster.

tn_jet.jpg picture by zeddyx

Thursday, September 30, 2010


...that i just made up!

1) Lawyers have absolutely no souls
2) If a lawyer looks into a mirror, no reflection appears
3) Attorneys feed on other people's misery
4) You can get rid of an attorney by sprinkling holy water on it's face or stabbing it with a cross
5) There is always one winning side in court- the attorney!
6) First thing that you do in a law school is selling your sould to the devil. Rest of the time you just learn how to ruin people's lives by bankrupting both sides- one with compensation claims and the other by fees.
7) Suing someone is the best way to ruin society
8) Devil makes lawyers out of feces
9) Law firms are actually satanist chuches
10) Attorneys are the #3 reason of testicular cancer
11) If you chop off attorney's head, two will grow in place

Since I got some pretty good feedback on the post Sexual harrassment panda, im opening the discussion again.

(also visit this blog: , its quite good!)

The DO's and DONT's

O hai, my 200 followers.

DO grind hipsters to a pulp but DONT feed it to animals- it is bad for them since hipster scum eats basically feces, thats why they are so full of shit :)

DO hit children if they deserve it (they do, most of the time) but DONT get caught! These little had it coming, dont let the law get in the way.

DO steal from where you work, but again, DONT get caught. Workplaces have all the stuff you need. When I worked in a shipyard, i managed to steal enough electrical wiring to change the old wires in my apartment and enough paint to make it all look pretty.

DO make fun of hipsters but DONT touch them. Most of hipsters consist of dried up feces and make up, you dont want to touch that, do you?

DO graffiti art but DONT do lame tags and shit like that. Graffiti can be fun and really a form of art, but nobody likes your tag or a crudely drawn penis.

DO ruin the paintjob of sportscars and hummers, that have been parked wrong or especially on handicapped parking area. There really isnt a DONT here, just do it goddamnit.

DONT be an asshole, seriously. Screw over only people who deserve it. You can be evil tho.

DO make fun of Jehova's witnesses and Mormons if they visit you. Bonus points if you manage to scare them off by doing something weird.

DO make explosives at home but DONT test them there. Thats why  the neighbour's backyard is for, especially if your neighbour is a total douche. Planting land mines in neighbour's yard is a great holiday idea!

DO let your kids play with live wires, kids love high voltage, right?

DO run around with knives and other blades. A chainsaw is not a bad idea either.

DO revenge all assholes and douchebags.

DO exterminate hipsters. I fucking hate hippies.


greetings from radioactive outskirts of europe

I have been ranting about stuff for about a week now and well, im more than surprised. I have gained a lot of positive feedback and almost 200 followers. I wanna thank you for all the support i have recieved! Give yourself a pat on the back:)

I'd take this moment to tell about me and where i am from.
On the internet, im genderless. In real life, i dont know. Age is relative, since time doesent exist, clocks do. Im from a place called Estonia, or East Onion country. We are a glorious nation ruled by a forest animal- lynx. But the capital, Tallinn, is ruled by horribly mutilated radioactive beast Edgar, who has evil plans with us and tons of young mistresses.
Our lanuage consists of series of clicks and vowel sounds, words can't be separated from each other.
Our food consists primarily of blood, sand and chocolate, produced in a factory run by sewer mutants. They make the chocolate from sewage. Main article of food is still sand tho.
Our national culture is rich. On idle time we hang out and absorb lethal doses of radiation.
Main sports are driving aroud in a beaten-up BMW and raping teenage girls, as is pillow fights and wife beating.
If you visit us, make sure you visit the atom bomb craters and try our national foods!
Thats about it. Thanks for reading =3

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The future is here?

You are spending time on the computer- reading news, updating your status, searching information, playing games...even reading this blog. Then you go outside but wait- you have to take your mp3 player along, also dont forget your phone! You might want to update your facebook when you are driving your car, what belongs to bank, actually.

I have nothing against gadgets but do we really need all that? Do we really need a smartphone what has 9009 functions? Well, some people think they do but jeez, shut the fuck up about how great your new app on your new iphone is. Nobody cares that you can check weather on your desktop IN CHINESE!!!!1!1one
Also, i really dont get the concept of some huge-ass tablets like iPas or aPad. Lets say, you have a nice, functioning laptop, but it has touch screen. Prety neat, eh, you can draw and stuff. Cool. Thank god i have a keyboard, a decent battery and all the ports i need. Now imagine that you dont- you have a horribly mutilated device with what you can check email and watch movies WHILE YOU ARE ON THE MOTHERFUCKING ROAD! How cool is that? Have you ever tried using a small touch keyboard? Whats wrong with netbooks? They can do all that tablets can and even more. They dont have a touch screen, so what? Do you need it so badly?
20 years ago computers were as portable as skyscrapers and touch screens were considered as witchcraft. people were happy then too. Instead of developing more powerful and efficient computers, companies make useless pieces of shit called tablets. I dont want one and im sick that these are forced on people. Also making them is a huge waste of materials.

Okay, so you like all the technical improvements and stuff but im sick of people bragging about their new stuff. Go fuck a giraffe!
I dont want the improvements to be forced on me, like apple does.
Apple releases new products quite often, thats great. But by that they render all previous ones (which tend to be better) obsolete and take them off from sale. When I want a functioning iPod nano (1st, 3rd and 4th generation), i cant have one by just walking to an Apple store and buying one. And the new ones are just crap. Do you know, how easy it is to break an iPod touch or iPhone? Also, if you dont like the new itunes because it has eliminated some options on your trusty iPod classic what you bought about a year ago, then good luck getting old itunes back. It's as comfortable as getting an anal probe.

Conclusion: technical improvements are not bad but they shouldnt be forced on people, especially by rendering previous systems obsolete. Also, more and more useless gadgets are products are produced every day, draining the earth's resources, so when we really need to build something, we dont have the resources.

I'm happy with my 21" CRT tv, 2 year old laptop, even older phone and not-so-popular ipod. Whats the point of getting new ones?


Tuesday, September 28, 2010

3D killed the cartoon star

O hai!

I've been a loyal fan of south park for many years- I was still a young boy when I first saw the fat ass of Cartman and Kenny dying in some silly accident. It influenced me a lot.
But today, I was shocked. I saw the 14th season of South Park. They had eliminated all the crude cutout animation and replaced it with SUPERSMOOTH 3D animation. Really, I was about to vomit. All those crude cutouts I grew up with, were gone or horribly mutilated.
True, the content of the show is still funny but the way they do it...well lets juse a quote from the show to describe that: "You're braking my balls man, you're breaking my balls..."

Atleast Japanese anime has some hand-made part in it left. No, im not talking about lolis giving old men giving handjobs but the silly little koreans drawing huge amounts of frames by hand. Atleast that is left...

Also, that huge supersmooth 3D wave has reached the games too. In example, Fallout I and II had quite adequate graphics, looked a bit crude but that made it good. Now Fallout III looks dramatic and all but its just not Fallout anymore. Also it sucks donkey balls anyway.
I remember the times when good looking and playable games fit on 1 CD, sometimes even less. Okay, some great games what didnt require a damn supercomputer to run fit on 3 CDs. Now, they stuff some ridiculous amonts of graphics in a dual side, dual layer DVD and you need world's most powerful computer to run it. Oh yeah. I miss the old days, when stuff looked crudely made, took few resources and all, you know. Now, smoothed out 3D stuff everywhere!

I like 3D animation tho, but in cinemas- special effects, entire movies (especially Pixar animation, I love it!) and so. But not in my old trusty cartoons.
Sure, they try to make things more realistic and so, but thats the whole point of it. Not all things must be real.

HAS 3D gone too far?
Tell us in the comments!

Guitar Queero

Well this is awkward- guitar hero has been released in so many versions that i lost count at 5.
Supporters of this game claim that it trains reflexes and stuff like that. Thats the only argument they have. Dont get me wrong again- i have nothing agains guitar hero personally but heck, i just dont get it- why not start playing a real guitar instead? Its a lot cheaper and teaches a lot more than just pressing some colorful buttons on a controller that can be also used for anal stimulation.
But i reckon, it's still better than IMVU and Travian combined.
Or you can let your kid to be a hipster and play with its own poop while listening to industrial noises mixed with vhite noise and ultrasound. Because excessive playing of gay-ass games like that will cause that. Where do i take this, you ask? Well, hipsters think that they are successful, but everybody hates them actually, getarqueero players think that they are huge hxc badass rockstars. Connect the dots.
Back in my days, we didnt have fancy toys like that. We didnt have so much opportunities, but we were still happy. Sort of. I remember playing with grenades and weapons and stuff like that. Those were the days..
But nowadays kids have all they could imagine and they still aren't happy and demand moar. Seriously, dont buy your kid guitar hero or stuff like that. Buy them real things that actually help them become humans. Even giving your kid some pot is better.

South park's opinion on guitar hero- WATCH IT HERE

I want this instead