lawyers are sent from hell

In fact, that is scientifically proven fact!
My country's leader scientist, dr. Bagatov said that! And he cant be wrong!
In his study he proved how attorneys, especially personal injury attorneys from Chicago are the minions of devil himself, sent to earth to empty people's bank accounts! And considering how much people sue each other these days and how high their rates are, this can be true!
I once talked to a lawyer, he was suddenly terrified when a cross appeared in sight.
It seems that they can get money out of all situations. I wonder, if a pinecone drops on my head, can i sue the landlord for 200 million dollars? I bet i can!

Attorneys are evil Attorneys are evil Attorneys are evil Attorneys are evil

Attorneys are evil Attorneys are evil Attorneys are evil Attorneys are evil

But why does the dark lord want money? I dont get that part.
Tell your ideas in the comments and help dr. Bagatov's study!