Saturday, October 2, 2010

Free law tips from momo!

O hai!

Since attorneys, lawyers and other bloodsuckers charge tremendous amounts of money for advice (about enough to buy a structured settlement), im gonna give out some free tips!
1) Dont get caught. If you are a wifebeater, mass murderer or just a drunk driver- dont get caught.
2) Eliminate all the witnesses. If you were stupid enough to get caught, eliminate the problem.
3) Tamper with the evidence. Dont let your handprints be on the chainsaw what was used to murder justin bieber- frame usher!
4) Burn down a police station. I dont know how that is supposed to help but heck, do it anyway.
5) When you really-really have to go to the court, make sure you bribe the jury. This should work.
6) Kill the family of judge. It is really that simple. After that you can pull off a motherfucking holocaust if you want to. 7) Kill justin bieber. Read point 3 for more info.
8) Threaten people or bribe your way to freedom.
9) Always lie. If the attorneys can lie, so can you!
10) Use these tips!

Okay, lets come back to earth for a second. If you have been suffering from an assault, divorce, oil spill, loss of home, being caught with DUI or DWI or whatever- you should recieve a compensation. Yes, find a bloodsucker attorney and ask for real advice. You can get a pretty nice compensation for absolutely nothing, like Sexual Harrassment Panda taught us last week- even some simple things can lead up to HUGE monetary compensations- big enough to buy a structured settlement and find the cure for mesothelioma! It really is that simple!

Dont mind me, that was a part of another experiment, about what i'd like to talk a bit. It's sectioned targeting. See, you dont see any murder and holocaust ads on this site, because I isolated the horribly mutilated content between special tags. You can read more about this from here: https://www.google.com/adsense/support/bin/answer.py?hl=en&answer=23168 With that, you can block all the unwanted keywords out and leave in only the important ones like:
$78.30 chicago personal injury lawyer
$73.01 chicago personal injury attorney
$69.17 lasik new york city
$64.27 new york personal injury lawyer
$64.17 new jersey car insurance
$63.10 new york personal injury attorney
$61.64 chicago personal injury lawyers
$61.17 mesothelioma lawyers
$60.74 atlanta personal injury lawyer
$60.29 new york personal injury lawyers
$59.00 lasik dallas
$58.68 new york personal injury lawyers
$58.38 miami personal injury attorney
$58.25 what is mesothelioma
$58.08 best equity loan
$57.95 lasik new york
$56.88 whole life insurance quote
$56.75 new york car insurance

But my opion on the suing is same: if you hate that person and you are greedy- sue him or her. Otherwise just beat the living crap out of him/her and be happy. Thank you.

50 comments:

  1. Nice update, waiting for moar ;)

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  2. fukken saved for future reference.

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  3. cool tip, my music blogs ads rate highly, must be because they are ofcourse tailored to music and I guess that pays well.

    nice, really. you should check out my chill music post on my music blog.

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  4. this is really useful information!

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  5. nice man but whats the keywords and the money on the side?

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  6. Just like my grandpa said: Lawyers will kill their own parents for money...

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  7. very nice and informative post, this is very useful in everyday life thanks bro

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  8. Frame Usher ? why thats brilliant !

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  9. Those are some, uh... interesting... tips there...

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  10. Nice overview Momo, if you're ever going to commit a big crime first step is to always be able to 'beat the charge' count on being caught basically.

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  11. hey, this is one of my more favorite posts from you :)

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  12. haha i love the finishing sentence. Just about sums it up :)

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  13. lawyers are bloodsucking leaches.....that is all

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  14. bloodsuckers XD

    so dam true :/

    nice tips though

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  15. Great post!

    looking forward to reading the next one

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  16. LOL dead on! gotta try some of these

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  17. I will follow these tips on my next homicidal rampage :3

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  18. Good tips. Sounds like they'll keep me out of trouble :P

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  19. Lol some quality advice right there

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